Home News About Conglomo Report a Service Problem Careers Contact us Did you know... There is more than enough food in the world to feed the entire human population. So why are more than 840 million people still going hungry? Because there's not enough human sterilization! Support human sterilization, stab a person and save the Earth. We are actively recruiting zombies employees, to work in our offices. You will be required to do exciting and rewarding things such as: sitting still just breathing forlong periods of time, staring at blank screens, faking kindness, initiating small talk, watch the clock tick by painstackingly slowly, test harmful products, and much much more! Right now we are currently hiring in the following departments: Product Testing Department Test experimental all natural chewing gums, wild giraffe repellant, electric water slides. and more! Phone Sex Operating Department For those in need, we provide this exculsive service! Be hot, Be Sexy, Be courteous. Hot tub department Answer e-mails at your leisure while relaxing in a hot tub! Sorry, but all positions in this department are filled. Cubicle Hell Now seeking plenty of corruptible souls to work in the call center. This job will require you to answer dumb questions and get screamed at all day. Don’t hesitate, contact us now about employment! Be sure to include your resume! How do I apply? You must send us an e-mail with your resume online. There is no other way. But what if I don’t have a computer? We don’t need people who don’t have computers working for us. Seems like you need to get one. By the way, how are you reading this? Liar. How often do job opportunities come available? For the good jobs, rarely. If ever. I suppose never, really. If I am interested in more than one position how do I apply? You don’t, we don’t need wishy washy people working for us. It’s one or none. We don’t need a multitasking staff, we need mindless workers. If I apply to the same position more than once, will you notice my application more? It will make us hate you more. Don’t do this. What if a position I am interested in is not listed in the Career Opportunities section? Can I submit a job application? … No. If I have already applied for a job, when will I hear from a staffing consultant and/or hiring manager? We like to make ‘em wait for it. Keeps them on their toes, waiting impatiently for the phone to ring with a callback. Sometimes we let people wait for a year for the fun of it but this is rare. I no longer want the job I applied for or I applied in error, can I delete my information? No, by submitting your application to us you have already promised us your first born child and your soul. Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated.