Thus far I only have one interview, but perhaps in the future I will have more! Dr. Altavista is an accredited child psychologist who advocates my techniques of reverse inspiration in this interview. Me: Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to allow me to interview you. The teachers and single parents of the world truly appreciate it! Dr. Altavista: Not a problem, I am always willing to share my tips and experiences with this radical new program. Me: Would you owe your success to your childhood full of abuse, Doctor? Dr. Altavista: Defiantly! I would not be the professional I was today without -- MOTHER!!! NO MOTHER!!! NOT THE FACE, I'M SO SORRY!!! oOOoh!!! *Curls into a ball and begins to sob* Oh, sorry about that! Sometimes I get these horrific flashbacks of the incidents that occurred to me in childhood. Me: Another job well done on your parent's behalf! I'd love to have them give my kids a thrashing or two. Dr. Altavista: Don't use the plural form. I only had mother. And she's dead. Me: Oh my! I'm sorry to hear tha-- Dr. Altavista: I DIDN'T KILL HER!! Why do you insist I did?! Huh? It wasn't me! I wasn't there! I have the perfect alibi! Look, it was an accident!! I didn't do it! *Clears throat* Sorry about that. I'm sorry to have to cut this short but I have an appointment in 5 minutes. Me: I understand. Would you perhaps provide the viewers with some closing words? Dr. Altavista: Well, like I always say, children are natures candy. Such a sweet, innocent taste. Yes, good to the last drop I always say. Buttery texture in fact. Melts in your mouth, Children. I have some recipes if you'd like to use --? Me: Sounds scrumptious, do e-mail to me when you have the time! And thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Dr. Altavista: Anytime. Now own to my appointment with little snack-- I mean delicious treat-- I mean sweet morsel-- I mean, Timmy. Contact Me