SORRY

I've made a horrible mistake and have decided to let the world know how terribly sorry I really am. I received e-mail, I then replied to it with profane vulgarity and I should never have done it. Here's the series of e-mails so you can see what I mean. My comments are in red. What I e-mailed back to him is in yellow.

From: Jeanonnewman@aol.com
To: batzmaru36@hotmail.com
Subject: (no subject)
Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2003 03:11:12 EST

What is the deal with all the I hate Leon shit?

No matter that this question is answered in the FAQ. The simple answer is that I never typed "I hate Leon" and if I did, it's obvious I didn't mean it.

My reply:
Hey kid, I don't remember forcing you to click a link entitled "Man in Uniform" and prying your eyes open and forcing you to read my opinions. I guess you didn't read the intro message on the index. There's something in bold about the website's focus being humor. Maybe you should take a look and stop whining. 'Cause you know what the deal IS with the "I hate Leon shit"?

THERE IS NONE.

I expected no more from him/her but I was thoroughly surprised and pleased to get a reply before I could even finish checking my mail.

From :
Sent : Monday, December 29, 2003 6:58 PM
To : batzmaru36@hotmail.com
Subject : (no subject)
What the fuck is this? Due I was just sayin that what that was all about was not that funny. OK. When you actually find a sense of humor then you can talk to me about humor. OK. I read the little thing and what you were saying was a bunch of stupid crap so before you bet all belligerent with me learn to get a life.

What is the deal with you answering your hate mail? Wow that is really mature.

Oh yes, replying to hate mail is more immature than sending it. Or more immature than someone who can't admit when they're wrong. And I'M the belligerent one. After all, he/she's punctuating every sentence with a fierce OK because she's trying to send a docile message, right? I apologize, this person has me beat, especially with his/her skills in constructing a legible sentence.

My reply:
Your assertion is so weak that I don't feel the need to defend myself but I pity your ignorance enough to point out the glaring contradictions in your message. Y'know, in case you decide to go to college or something. Highly unlikely since people with 3rd grade reading levels can't pass the SATs.

The "deal" with answering (everything is a DEAL with you, eh?) the hate mail was that it was a QUESTION and I'm the type of responsible person that doesn't leave questions unanswered, no matter how irrelevant and trivial. If you didn't want it answered, you wouldn't have sent it. Nor made it in question format.

And you claim it's immature to answer hate mail. However, you sent me a response to the "hate mail" I sent you. And when comparing your typing skills to mine ("Due* I was", before you bet* all belligerent", Repetitive use of "OK." to emphasize my intelligent response struck a nerve.) It's not hard to judge who's the more mature one of the two of us.

I'm tempted to post this short series of e-mails on Man In Uniform as humor; since according to you it's something I know so little of. I'm sure my viewers would have a good laugh at your ignorance of satire and sarcasm.

Now this reply takes the cake. Hold your sides because they're about to split.

From :
Sent : Tuesday, December 30, 2003 1:16 AM
To : batzmaru36@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: Here's the "deal" with it.

Look "dude", you emailed the wrong person. I am related to this person, so don't try to send any disrespectful emails ever again. We so happen share the same email address, but have different names. I felt very threatened when I read real this profane contained email. So, if you reply back talking crap, I can sue you if I wanted to. Besides, from what I heard, you talked trash first. So, no offense, you got what you deserved.

Thank You For Your Time,
Name Not Given

My reply:
I'm ever so sorry to have contacted the wrong person. I had no idea you two people with different names had to read real my profaine contained e-mail! So I have placed an apology online:
http://www.conijito.com/miu/sorry.html

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me,
Name not given

I suppose "dude" is written with quotation marks as to show the previous e-mail typer, who is in fact a different person with a DIFFERENT NAME (one musn't assume the reader knows two different people USUALLY have two different names) had meant to type "Dude" instead of Due. Very strange, since the current person typing in the message, who I sent the wrong e-mail too even though he has the same account so it wouldn't be the wrong person, knows what the contents of the previous sent message was.

I'm sorry my e-mail was so profane contained. After all, my messages contained no profanity while the first one sent to me contained the word "shit" which is profanity. I'm sorry than nancy boy was threatened by messages in an inbox. Oh! And I'd better not reply back talking crap! I'll be sued! After all, you CAN be sued for replying to e-mail people send you! And I'M the one who talked trash first. He SENT ME an e-mail first, asking a question, and by replying I'm the one who talked trash first. And I got what I diserved, eh? I didn't GET anything! Except a good dose of comedy 'cause I almost fell out of my chair laughing after reading that last one.

So, name not given, I hope you can accept my SINCERE apology for answering hate mail you sent me. (And I'm not the one who called it HATE MAIL, you did, and if hate mail is talking trash than YOU started it, right?) I PRAY you can forgive me! And please, don't sue me! I'm a moron for even thinking you didn't share your account with a relative that has a different name than you. Forgive me!

I'll add more apologies when I get more hatemail. ;] I loves getting hatemail when it's funny.